Thanks Owen for these guidelines I can see you have put lots of hard work into this.
We will use the guidelines for the next essay which you need to post by Wednesday 23 October. I am out with the year 11 on fieldwork this week so please use the class time on Thursday 24 October to peer review the essay using the guidelines.
Marking Other Work:
4 good areas , one area for improvement (each grade
criteria)
It is okay to give 2 good things and one improvement, as
long as it adheres to the 4:1 ratio.
Bad comments:
“Very good essay” is not a good comment
Giving only negative comments is not a good way of giving
feedback
Short and brief comments are not a way for them to
improve
Good comments:
The sentence is relevant___________
This point is interesting because__________
I disagree with this point____________
I had never thought of_________
I was not aware of _________study
Skills for
marking:
-
Read the intro and the conclusion first!
-
Reword the question using extended description
of command terms
-
Vocab – highlight key terms used
-
PEEL – by looking at the first and last sentence
of a paragraph , we can see what the paragraph is about “I knew what you were
talking about via your first and last sentence” or “the first and last sentence didn’t help me
understand your paragraph because…….”
Examples of protocols
from Peer Marking:
PEEL:
-
Topic
sentences (from intro) etc demographic dividend
-
Linking the point with the question you are
talking about
-
Evidence , statistics
-
Explanation to develop points
Reword Question:
-
general points that you will talk about
-
description of the command terms
-
Nitin’s: “assumption and interrelationships” has
defined the question
-
look at the IB geography guide
Sentence
structures:
-
“it is going to be very difficult just about
impossible for China, now to correct” <- this is good because it gives a
different view on optimum population not just decreasing population
Skills:
-
clearly states what Essay is about (in intro)
-
good summary in conclusion
-
the introduction gets the ball rolling
Vocabulary:
-
make a list of relevant command terms
-
highlight the command terms ( control f)
-
if the term is only found in one area , that is
not good ,they need to be spread out
Tim’s Essay
(marked by Hei Yin):
Skills: This
essay will consider the concept of Chinas anti-natal policy in a way that
uncovers assumptions & interrelationships.
Command terms:
-
population momentum
-
demographic dividend
-
ageing population
Owen’s Essay
(marked by Kristian)
4:1 Ratio: There is a good understanding of this
situation, you have talked about the one child policy and an ageing population
in depth. Social, environmental and economic impacts have been talked about
well in the essay. You need to talk more in depth about the epidemiological
transition and how it affects China.